a normal school day for hunger games fans

• girls gossiping: So this girl, Jenn-
• me: JENNIFER LAWRENCE WHAT.
• friends at lunch: want some blueberries?
• me: THAT'S NIGHTLOCK! YOU'D BE DEAD IN A MINUTE! DAMN YOU!
• nurse: so i'm going to give you some sleeping pills and-
• me: um, excuse me, no. it's called sleep syrup. DUH
• teacher: is Josh here today?
• me: JOSH HUTCHERSON. WHERE IS MY HUSBAND.
• health teacher: and that is why you shouldn't do drugs or drink.
• me: haymitch does not approve.
• student: *accidently drops books on floor*
• me: I HEARD THE CANNON. WHO DIED? THOSE DARN GAMEMAKERS!
• guidance counselor: all right what careers have you thought about?
• me: i kinda just don't like them. i mean, glimmer is a bitch. cato's vicious. clove is crazy with knives. marvel killed rue.
• science teacher: today we are learning about insects. *brings out sample of bee* this is called a-
• me: WHAT ARE YOU DOING. THOSE ARE TRACKER JACKERS. THEY'RE GENETICALLY ALTERED WASPS. STOP.
• lunch lady: today we're serving pie for dessert.
• me: sorry, i only eat pastries from the Mellark Bakery.
• PE coach: *blows whistle*
• me: RUE WHERE ARE YOU???!!?!? *whistles*